A Most Unique Experience

Are there things in your life you just can’t control? Things you try to work around, but just can’t get away from? Do you ever wonder if you are truly loved?

Painting this large piece was a unique experience. It highlighted difficulties in life that I couldn't get away from, but it also reassured me of my value.

- the rest of the story -

I was 8 years into my health journey and had lost so much. I lost my job, ministries and hobbies. Then, I couldn’t even attend church. My heart was heavy.

I felt lonely and useless, like I had been shelved. Grief overwhelmed my heart.

My church was looking for artists to paint artwork to display on Easter. I volunteered. It felt good to have something I could give to enhance Easter for all the people I loved. Little did I realize it would forever more enhance Easter for me too.

Looking back, I can see myself sitting on the floor painting this huge canvas. I am home alone, so my music plays loudly. I have tears on my cheeks from the pain and exhaustion. I see myself fighting to finish the painting in time, pushing to keep working.

I see a determined look on my face, willing to sacrifice my needs no matter the physical cost. I want to serve God and I want to serve those who will attend church in a couple weeks.

A song begins to play and it catches my attention. I pause for a moment to listen. It’s a song I know well,

“What can take a dying man, and raise him up to life again?”

I wasn’t dying physically, but my grief left me feeling dead inside. What about you? A lack of feeling valued can lead to a secondary emotion of anger. Anger kills us from the inside out.

“What can heal the wounded soul? What can make us white as snow?”

The sin of others, can wound our souls and leave us feeling unimportant and dirty. This is true of me, how about you? The idea of being as clean as newly fallen snow brought fresh tears to my eyes.

“What can fill the emptiness?”

Becoming housebound is empty and lonely. Are you? Living in fear is lonely. Living with anxiety is lonely. Living with mental illness, or a spouse with mental illness is lonely. Losing your spouse is lonely. Living without your hearts desires can leave life feeling empty. Do you have emptiness that needs filling?

“What can mend our brokenness?”

I watch myself sitting there and as I paint, my mind is wandering around the 47 years of my life and I realize how broken I really am. Are you?

Then the chorus begins…

“Mighty, awesome, wonderful

Is the Holy cross

Where the Lamb lay down His life

To lift us from the fall

Mighty is the power of the cross”

…and then it hits me! Not only do I have hope of life again, a soul white as snow, fulfillment, and wholeness because of the cross, but a realization explodes inside my heart. As I worked through the pain and exhaustion to complete this painting so that Easter morning might be even more meaningful for others, I experienced a deeper understanding and appreciation for the love Jesus showed me on the cross. The whole picture of Jesus’ journey to the cross, His immense physical suffering, his deep anguish and humiliation, and his commitment to my needs became very real to me. His love took my breath away.

The tears come in earnest now, and I must work hard to keep them off of the canvas. I play this song over and over, taking in the deep meaning, as I continue working.

Every time I look back at this memory I am filled with thankfulness because of what Jesus did for me and I feel so loved no matter what is happening around me or the circumstances I am facing.

Do you need this love? When you think of Jesus and the cross does it fill you with thankfulness? If you don’t have this yet, all you have to do is tell Him thank you for dying on the cross for you and that you would like to know and accept his love. If you decide to do this today, send a message to someone to tell them you spoke with him (prayed). If someone shared this story with you that would be a great person to tell. Or if you don’t know who else to tell, you can message me through the Art Lifting Hearts website.

If you know you need this love, but you still have questions about Jesus, talk to your friend who sent you to this story. Or send me a message with your questions and I’ll see if I can connect you to someone who can answer them for you.

If you do know Jesus, and personally know this love I’ve talked about, I’m sure there is someone around you who is feeling hopeless and needs to be loved in the midst of their struggles. I hope you’ll consider forwarding this story to them.

Lyrics from “Mighty Is the Power of the Cross” by Chris Tomlin